Five years today, I got an email from a woman who claimed that the guy that I was dating for the past year had been her boyfriend for the past 2-3 years. My heart literally dropped to my feet while reading her email. She revealed some other things in the email that spoke to that guy not being who I thought he was.
I picked up the phone and said a lot of things that didn’t speak to the fact that I knew Jesus :-). I stopped speaking to him for 4 months in February of that same year and finally got him out of my life by August of that year (2010).
A few months back, I was clearing out my email and saw some emails that I had written to my best friend during that time. I was completely sad, depressed and down in the dumps. I had allowed this guy to become such a huge part of my identity that I’d lost who I was. I had allowed a man who didn’t even know who he was to shape who I was. Did you catch that?
When you’re entering a relationship, if the man or women that you’re pairing up with does not know they are, you will get lost in their search. Because you’re then forced to fall in line with a process that shouldn’t include you. I don’t believe two people come together as two perfect individuals. However, I do believe that a man or woman MUST understand who they’ve been called to be and what they’ve been called to do in order to form a partnership and covenant with another person. Marriage is all about purpose and if your spouse has no purpose why are y’all getting married?? There’s only so much Netflix and chill you can do in a marriage. Y’all have 50-80 years together, that’s not gonna cut it.
Back then I knew absolutely nothing about purpose in marriage. I just thought, you love him, y’all have great sex, you get married, have babies and live the rest of your lives. Whew! I was naive!
The more I study about marriage and the more God reveals to me about marriage, I realize that marriage is SERIOUS!
If you’re currently in a serious relationship, take a step back and evaluate the purpose of your union. What is your marriage/family going to contribute to this world? How are you going to impact God’s kingdom?
Let me know your thoughts in the comment box. And share this post. Peace!
iWaited Blog 
“When you’re entering a relationship, if the man or women that you’re pairing up with does not know who they are, you will get lost in their search. Because you’re then forced to fall in line with a process that shouldn’t include you.” Those 2 lines alone, I could write a book on!! I promise you I jumped up out of my seat! This is so dead on because that is where a lot of relationships fail. After years of unsuccessful relationships, it was not until I worked on me and was able to understand myself and my relationship with God. Then I was able to begin.
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Listen I’ve inserted myself into lots of processes that weren’t supposed to include me. And the heartache was real. Smh
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