I’m continuing with this transparency thing…
What if I don’t know how to ALLOW a man to love me? What if I don’t have what it takes to sustain a marriage? I always felt like I didn’t know what it took to really sustain a relationship. I always felt like it was my fault that relationships ended. So that naturally lead to me thinking that maybe I would never be able to have a lifelong marriage.
Along with my fears of never getting married and not knowing how to live with a man comes the fear of once I do get married will it last?
How do people remain married for 50, 60 and 70 years? How do you grow in love with a person, as you yourself are growing as a person? How do you fully allow someone to love you while trying to ignore fears that he may break your heart?
I feel like I was set up for the okey doke and no one told me that having a godly marriage would open up the most fearful places in you? Mind you, I’m not in a relationship yet. I’m having anxiety about this future relationship and marriage that hasn’t happened yet. How do people learn this stuff?
I really believe that we’re in a time now where God is raising up marriages that will specifically display his godly example of biblical marriage. Men that take their positions in the earth and in their homes. Women that walk out their purpose with purpose. Men that are faithful and loyal to their wives. Women that act with integrity and respect towards their husbands.
Yes, I haven’t had hardly any godly examples but Holy Spirit is the best teacher and counselor. I’m not going into marriage with the naïve notion that it is going to be a cake walk but I’m confident of God’s ability to lead both me and my future husband. It all boils down to the fact that I truly trust God with my life and my LOVE life :). I trust Him, period.