Hello iWaited Family!! Welcome to this month’s feature, featuring Shira & Terry Williams.They’ve been married for almost four years. I so love their love story. They were friends for over a decade and it blossomed into true love. Their love for one another is so apparent. With no further ado, I introduce Shira and Terry.
1. Please state your names and tell me a little bit about yourselves.
Shira: I’m Shira Williams and I’m from Atlanta Georgia. I’m 34 years old. I blog, I have a background in graphic design and I’m very creative. I love people and I love kids. My husband and I are both writers.
Terry: My name is Terry Williams and I’m from South Carolina. I went to college at South Carolina State University. I like to write poetry. I like to laugh, so I have what I like to think is a good sense of humor. I’m a big sports guy, love to watch sports. I like spoken word and rhyming.
2. How did the two of you meet?
Shira: We actually met at South Carolina State. We met in 1999, in Orangeburg, South Carolina at a Pajama Jam. I didn’t stay long at South Carolina State, maybe about two years. He continued on and I left and came back to Atlanta and that’s where I continued school. We stayed in contact for about 8-9 years. We lost contact for about 2 years and re-connected in 2009. From there we decided to become a couple and we got married in 2011 and here we are almost 4 years later. We’ve known each other a long time and we have a lot of history.
Terry: When I first met her, I never knew that I would marry her. I believe that God has a sense of humor because He usually shows me things in advance.
Me: So when you all were at South Carolina State, you were strictly platonic friends?
Shira: Yes, just friends.
Terry: She actually had a boyfriend at the time, but we still became friends.
Shira: Even when we re-connected in 2009 we continued as friends and we didn’t actually become a couple until 2010. By then God had showed me that he was definitely my husband. I would have never had guessed back in 1999 that we would end up together. Like Terry said, I always had a boyfriend and he’s seen me through plenty relationships. He knows me.
3. How long did you date and how long was your engagement?
Shira: We started dating the early part of 2010, probably around March. And he proposed August 2010. We got married November 2011.
Terry: I was 33 and I was at a point where there was nothing else out there for me. And I had known her since 1999 and I had always been attracted to her.
4. How early on in the relationship did the subject of sex come up?
Shira: We didn’t have that discussion during our friendship. It came up after we were engaged. When we started dating, we were both already celibate prior to re-connecting. We went into this knowing we were going to wait until marriage. In my mind, I already told myself that the next person that I am with I will wait until marriage.
Terry: Because we are both Christians and both come from Christian backgrounds, we knew that pre-marital wasn’t the best idea in God’s eyes.
5. How long were you abstaining before you met your mate?
Shira: For me it had been a year.
Terry: The same for me.
6. What was the deciding factor in you making the decision to remain celibate and stick to your guns?
Shira: My deciding point was so many failed relationships prior to Terry. We know as Christians, we know it’s wrong. When you’re doing all of that, it causes so much confusion. I decided no more opening myself up to people and situations that weren’t going anywhere.
Terry: For me, it was simply that I wanted God to bless this marriage. I didn’t want to go into it doing something that I knew God wasn’t pleased with. I wanted a successful marriage. I didn’t want to be married for a few months or year and get divorced. I wanted this to be something that God ordained and blessed.
7. You all got engaged pretty short time but you still had a long engagement, were you tempted to have sex during your long engagement?
Terry: I think what helped us out was, Shira was still in Georgia and I was in South Carolina. So the distance helped. It may have been harder to abstain if we were in the same city.
Shira: Of course I’m attracted to my husband but I believe that because we had this strong friendship, sex never engulfed my mind. When you’re planning a wedding, it takes up so much of your time that you don’t really have time to think about it. I actually ended up moving to Greenville three months before we got married because I got a job quicker than I had anticipated. My plan was to move after we got married.
8. When you moved right before the wedding, did you live together?
Shira: We did, but we stuck with the plan. To me it was easier once I moved there because we saw each other every day. We stayed busy.
9. In what ways do you think keeping sex out of the relationship benefitted the relationship?
Shira: It really gave us a chance to really get to know each other. We talked a lot.
Terry: It helped us because everything wasn’t just physical attraction. Sometimes sex can cloud your judgment and put your focus on the wrong thing. Although I was attracted to her physically, I didn’t want that to be the driving factor behind me marrying her. I wanted to fall in love with her on the inside as well as the outside.
10. Why do you believe God asks us to remain pure before marriage?
Shira: I think it’s the same as we stated above, so that your decisions are not clouded with the wrong things.
11. What did you all do to prepare for a relationship?
Shira: During that time I got closer to God and I started writing more. I would write to God every day. Talking with God. So when I met Terry it was a complete surprise.
Terry: For years I had been praying about what I wanted in a wife and God answered those prayers. I prepared by asking for those qualities and I asked God to help me recognize the qualities when I saw them in my future wife. It’s an ongoing process even though we’re married; we’re still learning each other. I’m still preparing *laughs*.
***I asked Terry about whether he grew up with his father in his home. He stated that his parents have been married for 40+ years and both sets of grandparents were married (amazing!). He had great examples.
12. Question for Terry: What would you say to men who didn’t have that example? How would they prepare themselves?
Terry: I would say this is where mentors come in. Maybe they know an uncle or cousin or maybe their friend’s father…someone they can see. This is where mentorship takes place. Even though a male may not have a father, per se, he has a father figure to look up to–someone to provide an example. I was blessed to have someone living in my home. I would say surround yourself with positive influences, maybe a pastor.
13. What are some final thoughts or words of encouragement for the readers?
Shira: Stick with it. It’s very rewarding to wait. Whether you’re currently dating or you’re waiting on the person you will be with, stick it out. It’s so worth it. I got so much flack for either deciding to wait or people didn’t believe that I was actually waiting. They just didn’t think it was true. Even when you get the naysayers, stick with it. It makes you closer because you’ve already built the foundation of accomplishing your first goal together.
Terry: I second that *laugh*
Thank you so much Shira & Terry!